Title Father and Son relationships in single parent families
Funding round 2
Mr Day is a single parent with legal custody of his son Amir. Mr Day has been the sole carer for most of Amir's life after he and his partner separated when Amir was a young child. Amir is 15 years of age and of duel White British and Asian heritage.
Mr Day was referred to Reconnect by Children, Families and Social Care who felt Mr Day would benefit from attending the Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities parenting programme. Mr Day and Amir regularly argued about Amir getting into trouble with the police, not returning home at an agreed time in the evening and housework. At times Mr Day and Amir would become aggressive towards each other and on one occasion Amir threatened his father with a kitchen dining knife. Mr Day contacted the police and pressed charges. Mr Day also told Amir he would no longer allow him to stay at their home.
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Amir stayed with various friends for a number of weeks before he was eventually placed in a Children's Home. Amir was found not guilty of the offence with the knife as it was judged that there was no intent to harm. During this period Mr Day and Amir had almost no contact with each other. It was at this time Mr Day started attending the parenting course. Mr Day acknowledged that although his son was not living with him at this time, he would eventually like him to return home if their relationship could be improved.
Mr Day attended all the sessions and stated he felt that he had gained a lot of knowledge and support through attending the programme. He also expressed his regret that he could not put the new skills into practice with Amir. In addition to the course, the Reconnect worker offered mediation to Mr Day and Amir. Contact was made with Amir at the Children's Home and shuttle mediation started. This was able to continue after the course had ended. Other agencies involved with Amir, including the YOT, Social Services, Connexions and the Children's Home, were kept informed of the progress.
Eventually Mr Day and Amir began joint mediation and also started to meet informally outside of the sessions. They both expressed their desire for Amir to return home but also acknowledged that they needed to develop clear boundaries regarding how they would be able to live together without returning to the difficult situation which lead to the breakdown in their relationship. In agreement with the Children's Home, Amir has started to return home at weekends with a view to a permanent return. Mr Day and Amir are continuing with the joint mediation and, although not common practice, Mr Day has also joined another Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities course which is enabling him to receive additional support whilst putting into practice the course materials.