Title Couples, children and step children how to encourage compromise and communication
Funding round 2
Jane and her partner Tony joined our Strengthening Families Strengthening Communities parenting programme for support with finding alternative ways of managing the children's behaviour. Tony does not get along with Jane's two older children, Sarah and Andrew, and this, together with his "old fashioned views and values" regarding raising children, causes lack of consistency for the children. Jane and Tony also have a child together.
Although both Jane and Tony agreed to participate in the programme, Tony still had great difficulty trying alternative ways to manage the children's behaviour and also embracing the ethos of the programme. Jane has felt isolated in her decision to try alternatives and has found that the lack of consistency in the messages being given to the children is not only allowing children to play on their parents but has also proved confusing for them. Jane and Tony, although still in a relationship, have agreed to live separately allowing Tony the time and space to work through his own thoughts and feelings.
Since the agreement to live separately, Jane has noted a difference in the response of all three children. Jane puts this down to being consistent, and although she still has her challenges and the children attempt to see how far they can push the boundaries, they are responding to her perseverance by being respectful and talking through problems with less screaming and slamming of doors.
Since Jane completed the programme both she and daughter have attended the SFSC seminar in London where they took part in the panel discussion, sharing their experiences and changes in their relationship since Jane participated in the parenting programme.
Jane has expressed an interest in training as a facilitator as she is a believer in the benefits of the programme and would like to help other parents through difficulties with their teenagers.
In addition to the parenting programme, the family has also been provided with mediation and one to one support. This work is ongoing, and has provided a space for the family to work through their difficulties and to listen to the effects that their behaviour has on each other. The opportunity to devise rules and work through problems has proved beneficial, despite finding it difficult at times to stick to them.