Title Problem aggressive behaviour from children
Funding round 1
Self referral made by a mother into the Parent/Carer Support Service, due to complex family issues. The reason for requesting support was that a young person within the family, aged 12, had been excluded from school on several occasions, due to displaying aggressive behaviour. There were concerns around stealing from Mum and becoming involved in anti-social behaviour with older teenagers. Mum felt that there was a complete relationship breakdown.
After assessing the situation with the Mum, and looking at the family dynamics and family functioning, it became apparent that the breakdown and behavioural issues presented by the young person had been happening gradually over a period of time. Mum now described the situation as irreversible.
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Sessions were conducted with Mum to encourage her to look at her parenting style and techniques used, and how effective they were. We also looked back as to when the initial problems arose. This indicated that Mum had lost confidence in herself as a parent, there was a lack of consistent house rules. Verbal communication between Mother and son was of an argumentative, aggressive, manner when neither party felt they could effectively have their views, opinions and feelings heard. Mum was able to recognise how her stress levels could impact negatively on situations and also how her reaction to them would accelerate the situation.
A care plan was implemented alongside Mum, to work on stress factors. This included identifying the most stressful times during the day e.g. when the son arrived home from school, as Mum felt that he immediately demanded her time and attention. We then further explored why this was an issue for Mum. The result of this was that Mum was preparing tea, as she herself had only just come home from work and was tired, the family pets would need to be seen to and, in general, it appeared to be a time of chaos. Strategies were implemented to decrease the chaos, and routines and responsibilities were then established. This then allowed for the young person to have the attention that he desired, as well as working in a constructive manner.
Mum was also able to recognise physical indicators of, and reactions to, stress. Techniques were promoted to be applied at the earliest stage, enabling Mum to remain in control and not to react impulsively. This had a major impact on their communication and levels of interaction.
We worked with Mum and the young person to compile a set of realistic rules, rewards and consequences. This gave the young person the opportunity to voice his concerns and to have a valued opinion. Rewards were set up to encourage quality time together e.g. DVD nights, game nights and, for the more special treats, a family activity conducted outside of the home. A weekly allowance was also given to the young person to encourage independence and to overcome the issues of stealing. This had a major positive impact on their interpersonal relationship. Mum was also able to recognise her young person's emotional & physical needs at this time of change in his development, with the pressure of adjusting to the demands of senior school, establishing himself and his personal identity.
We worked closely with the Education Department, advocating on behalf of Mum and the young person, around issues concerning the family dynamics. The school were then able to support the young person, by providing mentoring and a 'buddy system', thus offering a level of pastoral care. They also set up ways to provide positive feedback, to both young person and parent, which developed the young person's confidence, self-esteem and sense of identity.
The young person also became actively involved in local community activities, building on positive relationships with peers, social skills and confidence.